LOL_XS (![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} lol_xenosaga) wrote,@ 2007-02-01 08:26:00 |
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| Current location: | In Big Willy's office! :D |
| Current mood: |  goofster |
| Current music: | "Dragostea Din Tei" - Ozone |
| Entry tags: | auroremne hijacks |
PWNED, BITCH!
S'up, guys? This is SO not your normal poster. It's cosmicnotion! I'm gonna hijack this journal every once in awhile to share some crazy shit! :D
So anyway, I've been on a Kevin-bashing kick lately. It's not a hard thing to do, believe me. *grin* And I came up with some stuff... and it just happens to be that I've written them all in the wee hours of the morning. So naturally, they're awesome. XD
All good things come in threes, so... I present to you, three crazy scenes starring The Injustice League Wilhelm and the Testaments!
Part I: Of Testaments and Fortune Cookies
Albedo: Hey, guys! Fortune cookies!PWNAGE COUNT: 1
Virgil: Sweet-ass. *opens one* "Beware your brothers in arms; sibling rivalry may abound."
Albedo: In bed!
Virgil: *cringes* I'm not even going to ponder that one.
Voyager: My turn. *opens cookie* "Beware of the past, for it may come back to haunt you."
Albedo: In bed!
Voyager: *smirks and hopes that Jan Sauer/Ziggy DOES come back to haunt him... in bed*
Virgil: ...please don't ever smirk like that again.
Voyager: Sorries.
Albedo: *opens his* "Growth of the spirit is stronger than growth of the body."
Virgil: In bed!
Albedo: *cough* BULLSHIT. I think someone mixed up my fortune with Rubedo's.
Virgil: Easy thing to do.
Albedo: I'm offended! *laughs* At least I can get laid!
Kevin: *opens a cookie and silently reads the fortune* ...
Albedo: Read it out loud!
Kevin: ...I'd rather not.
Virgil: Read it, Airhead, or we'll do it for you.
Kevin: ...fine. It says, "You will always be forced to submit to a higher power."
Albedo & Virgil: IN BED!
Voyager: *cackles*
Albedo: That's old news right there.
Virgil: No kidding. Happens all the time.
Kevin: ... *gives Albedo and Virgil the finger*
Albedo: No thanks, Red. Wilhelm will beat my ass if I take you up on that.
Virgil: I don't swing that way, anyhow.
Voyager: *snickers*
Kevin: I hate you all!
Wilhelm: *walks in* What's going on?
Albedo: Fortune cookies, boss! *tosses him one*
Wilhelm: Oh? *opens it* "Your adversary has more bountiful assets."
Albedo: *snorts with laughter and whispers* In bed...!
Wilhelm: ...pardon me? *narrows eyes*
Albedo: I said nothing! *tries to keep a straight face*
Wilhelm: My manhood feels threatened. *sulks* Kevin Winnicot, come with me. I need to... speak to you.
Kevin: Yes, sir. *follows Wilhelm*
Albedo: Here we go again! *stuffs cotton in his ears*
Virgil: *sings* This is getting old!
Part II: Songs For Testaments!
Virgil: "I'm blue, da-ba-dee da-ba-dai!"PWNAGE COUNT: 2
Albedo: *blinku*
Virgil: That's my song, duh.
Albedo: Mine is better.
Virgil: Bullshit.
Albedo: "I'M PRETTY FLY FOR A WHITE GUY!" :D
Virgil: ...
Voyager: "Back in black, I hit the sack!"
Virgil: ...please never talk about the sack again.
Voyager: Sorries.
Kevin: ...
Virgil: Say something, god damn!
Kevin: ...something.
Albedo: EARTH TO DIPSHIT! You forgot to declare your song, dumbass!
Kevin: *sighs* "...if you want to be free, take a sip of this tea, join the Red Oyster Cult."
Virgil: You know, Red, you can really be a total airhead sometimes…
Kevin: Shut your face before I---
Wilhelm: That's enough, Winnicot.
Kevin: I apologize.
Wilhelm: You can make it up to me later. *winks and saunters off*
Virgil: He's got you WHIPPED, Airhead! Oops, I mean Red. ^_^
Albedo: OOH! Somebody just got owned, and I think it was Kevin!
Kevin: ...I really hate you all. *stalks off to sulk (but we know where he's REALLY going!)*
Voyager: "Back in black, I hit the---"
Virgil: ---NO.
Part III: When Testaments Clash
Albedo: So! How was YOUR day, Red?PWNAGE COUNT: A damn lot, but we'll just say 3
Kevin: ... *just came out of Wilhelm's office and is rather sore*
Albedo: Sucks to be you! Haha, get it? Sucks!
Kevin: Shut up, Albedo.
Albedo: *doesn't seem to hear him* It must be crazy getting fucked by Wilhelm! *laughs*
Kevin: Crazy like you? And… at least I never got fucked by my father. *smirkity*
Albedo: ...............that... was a low blow. Didn't your mother teach you any manners?
Kevin: Albedo… *warning glare*
Albedo: OH! Wait a minute! You don't HAVE a mother! She's dead! I guess that means you need to shut the fuck up! That's what I'd do if my mother was dead: shut the fuck up! Shut. The. Fuck. Up! That's right, Douchey LaRue! You think I'm gonna take orders from the Red Testament? You may be Wilhelm's biatch, but you're gonna---GAAAAHH!!!*
Kevin: *WTF ATTACK*
Virgil: Holy shit! CAT FIGHT!
Voyager: *grabs some popcorn*
Virgil: Hey, share! *steals some*
Voyager: *wonders if there will be gay porn following the fight*
Virgil: ...don't ever think about that again.
Voyager: Sorries.
Albedo: *pwns Kevin*
Kevin: x_x
Virgil: A winner is you!
Albedo: Hell yeah. FEELS GOOD TO BE A WINNER, AIRHEAD!
Kevin: Does it feel that good, Albedo? Will it feel that good when---
Wilhelm: *appears* That's enough, both of you. Kevin, come with me.
Kevin: But we just...
Wilhelm: ...are you questioning me?
Kevin: No, sir! *follows Wilhelm*
Albedo: Yes indeedy. A winner is me.
Voyager: Hey, I was right! *talking about the gay porn*
Virgil: ...NO.
*Inspired by a Dave Chappelle skit!
So... OH HELL YEAH I WENT THERE! And I think I had a little too much fun doing it. XD
Anyway, that's all. I'm out!
PS: No stealin' my icon(s)! >O
